I haven't talked a lot about this on my blog, but over the past three or four months I have been feeling a little "off". Of course I have still been enjoying Parker, but have felt a lot of anxiety and stress, and just haven't felt like myself. I believe that part of this is because I really had taken on too much and wasn't making it a priority to take care of myself. My New Year's resolution was to reduce stress and take care of myself so that I will have more happiness and energy left to give back to those around me. This past weekend, I made the difficult decision to drop my online program. I did this so that I could come home from work and commit my home time to Parker and to Chris, and also to myself. I'm going to read books I want to read, take time to sit down and eat dinner, and maybe even fit in some exercise! I feel a little bit dissapointed in myself for not being able to pull it off, but moreso I feel an overwhelming amount of relief... or at least I did, until...
I got an email from the second in command at the University saying that they don't think they want to renew the lease on the company vehicle they gave me to drive a year and a half ago. Here's the even better part- the lease is up on the 27th of January. Chris and I only have one (running) car, and that car is the very same one I was driving in HIGH SCHOOL in 1998. It has been having all kinds of problems lately, and I know it wouldn't hold up if I were to drive it over 100 miles a day as required by my commute (not to mention that would leave Chris without a car...). I am HORRIFIED that my employer would give me this news with 14 days notice, and feel very disrespected by the way it was presented to me. I know that this is not a decision that was made by anyone I work with directly, but it still makes me loose a lot of faith in my employment situation. Chris and I can't just go out tomorrow and buy a new car in the next two weeks. That type of investment would be a stretch for us at this point and would require more preparation than two little weeks. I am really upset and not quite sure what this means for us. As always, I guess I just need to have faith that things will work out as they should.
Needless to say, my momentary feeling of relief after dropping my class immediately vanished and was replaced by anxiety. Sigh. I'm trying not to let this news distract me from my orginal goals of self care. The universe has been good to me and my family, and I know that with every closed door comes an open window. Keep your fingers crossed for a good resolution to our momentary dillema.
Ommm..... ommmmmm.... :)
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3 comments:
I'm so sorry to hear about the car situation. That is absolutely lousy of them to do: 1) on such short notice and 2) in general.
hopefully they will come up with a solution so that you don't have to use your own vehicle.
Hang in there Mama Laura! You're an awesome mother, person, and friend. Yes, EVERYTHING will work out...you said it! It always does one way or another. What would life be without obstacles - besides relaxing...he he he. I'll be thinking about you :)
oh man. i haven't been very good about keeping up on your blog (john got me a new laptop about a month ago and i haven't updated all of my bookmarked pages yet) so i just read this post. ugh, i'm sorry to hear about the car thing. i understand what you're saying about not being able to just go out an buy a car on the spot. i think that for your current situation, dropping your online program was the right choice; hope you're sticking by yourself on that one. sometimes we have to make tough decisions in order to prioritize life as mothers/wives/coworkers/friends/humans. our choices aren't always easy but, yes, taking care of ourselves is a must! best wishes...
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