Cautiously Optimistic

It is often funny re-reading previous posts, and realizing how quickly things change. This has been especially true this past year, where change has been around every twist and turn. I don't think there is anyone who still reads this blog (who would? I post about as frequently as I put on my tennis shoes to go out for a run). But, if you happen to be reading this you will be privy to the insider information that even as I wrote my last post, I had a tiny little someone beginning life inside me.

No one was more surprised than I when, just a few weeks after losing a very early pregnancy, we found out that we were once again expecting. We hadn't been trying, and let's just say the odds of that happening were quite slim! I had a hard time not feeling terrified, and worried that I was not ready to face the possibility of another loss. Chris and I decided to share the news that weekend, while both of our parents and family were together for Thanksgiving, in hopes that more people sending good energy to our little bean, the more likely we might have a happy outcome. I'm encouraged to report that we're 8 weeks along, and though not out of the woods, we are getting closer and closer to the end of the riskiest early weeks of pregnancy.

We are cautiously optimistic that we might finally welcome a much awaited second child late in Summer 2012, and are hopeful that our December 27th ultrasound (10 weeks) will show a healthy heartbeat and fingers and toes in all the right places. This journey has been a rough one, but one that has built strength in our appreciation for our family, personal strength to persevere in the face of adversity, and faith that there will be a right time for our family to grow if it is meant to. My focus right now is providing the best possible opportunity for success through rest, nutrition, and positive thought, and trying to find peace in knowing that I am strong enough to handle the process, no matter what.

Love and resilience,
Laura

Growing, Learning, Living...

We attended the wedding of one of Chris' co-workers this past week, and on the way Parker asked, "Do you think Michael Jackson will be there?". Our boy has such a funny, creative mind, and only continues to be the center of our universe every day. Parker is loving his new school (also my school!), and has grown in to quite the independent, tender, and always brilliant little man. I truly can't believe we just celebrated his fourth birthday, though at the same time I can hardly remember my life before him. We held a wonderful fisherman themed birthday party, and enjoyed the company of family and friends who came from near and far to help us celebrate. Even Andy and Anna Kennedy came down with their two little boys (Cole was only 10 weeks old!), along with Mimi and Papa, to spend the long weekend with us.

My new job is going well, and I feel so lucky to spend my days on the same campus where my little guy is learning and playing. High Meadows School is a indescribably magical place, and I feel very fortunate that this is what school will be to our son. The responsibility of my position is huge, and I struggle sometimes with the amount of pressure that is on my shoulders to make sure our enrollment goals are met, so, as one teacher pointed out to me "we can all have jobs next year." (No pressure). I feel confident in the changes I have made to some processes and in the product I am representing, so I remind myself not to be consumed by "meeting the numbers." Being a working mom and finding balance is no easy task, there is no question in that.

I've been thinking about posting on my blog for some time now, as a lot has been going on. Chris accepted a full-time job at the Atlanta Institute of Music as a curriculum coordinator, and is really thriving in that position. I flew to Oregon twice to stand in the weddings of two of my best friends, April and Leah, and cherished those special moments with friends and witnessing the love they have found in their grooms. We gave up on selling the old house, and have rented it to a very nice bunch of twenty-somethings who may have some interest in buying it down the road. The rent doesn't cover the mortgage, but it allows us to be where we are and get by, which is what needs to happen for now. Fingers crossed for economic recovery over years to come and the opportunity to sell without catastrophic loss. We have lost a pet, and added two (Leo our cat ran away, and we adopted a puppy, Pickles, and a lizard, Chucko.) We have also struggled with our pursuit of adding a second child to our family.

I feel the need to stay authentic in what I write in this blog, and have realized that sharing our experiences can only help others who might find themselves in similar shoes at some point. In October 2010 I lost a pregnancy after about seven weeks, and went through the same experience last month. I have gone through some extensive testing, which fortunately resulted in the conclusion that these were most likely just isolated incidents unrelated to a medical issue. That said, it is really a heartbreaking experience, and after having gone through it twice, I am left fearful that maybe it just isn't going to happen for us. I do believe that if we are meant to bring another little person into the world, he or she will come when the time is right. There is a heaviness in my heart over both of these losses, but I remain grateful for the extraordinary child we do have. I'm not sure there is anyone who even reads this blog anymore, but I wanted to share our story because I know that miscarriage can be a very isolating thing to go through, and I have been comforted by others who have helped me realize that I am not alone, and that happy endings do happen more often than not.

Next week, my parents are flying in from Oregon, and for the first time in nearly 10 years together, the Nicholsons and Richerts will celebrate Thanksgiving together at Chris' parents home in North Carolina. I am very much looking forward to being surrounded by family, eating yummy holiday food, watching Parker play with the other kids in the family. My parents will then be traveling to Tennessee to support Peter during his mother's memorial service. Sadly, Pinky passed away several weeks ago after struggling with many health problems for years. I know that Peter is comforted that she is now freed from her pain, and we join him in envisioning her dancing through the heavens.

This has been a long, bitter-sweet post, but I am glad to have updated the history of the many transformations of our life. Through each, I learn something new, and realize the value of the many blessings we have been provided.

The Nicholsons Reinvented

It seems nearly impossible that my last post was only six months ago, because reading back over it I realize that our entire lives have changed since then. A school, a job, and a move later, we are settling in to our new home in Roswell, I am settling into my new job at High Meadows school, and we are hoping and praying that our old house will sell in the near future. Parker is spending the summer at home with a nanny, Selina, and her 8 year old daughter, Riley, which he is enjoying very much. He will be starting the preschool program on campus with me at High Meadows in August. I am so grateful to have a job where Parker can be close, and benefit from an amazing school opportunity.

Leaving our neighborhood full of friends, as well as the house we came home to as newlyweds and brought our little 6lb 12oz Parker home to, was sad, but it also really felt like the right time. My new job is 34 miles away from our old house, which would have translated into a VERY long and traffic-ridden commute for me and Parker every day. My new hours are 8-4, which is awesome, but I couldn't imagine leaving the house at 6:45 every day to make it by 8:00. SO... with an immense amount of emotional and financial support from our family, we took a leap of faith and leased a new house near my work, and got the old house market ready. Yes- this is the worst possible time to try and sell a house. Yes- we will be taking a huge hit and writing a big, fat check whenever the house sells. Yes- it has been one of the scariest decisions of a lifetime, but in the end, we really felt it was what needed to be done, and that the long-term implications were all positive.

We are still in the breath-holding stage with the old house on the market, and I know I won't feel truly relaxed until that process has closure. We've had some rental interest, so that remains 'Plan B' if we don't accept an offer before fall rolls around. Our new house is amazing, and we absolutely love it. I think we both, however, feel as though it can't be real that it is OUR house. Once we are able to proceed with the purchase part of the lease/purchase I know we will both feel like we can let ourselves sit back and enjoy the new place to the fullest. In the meantime, we aren't having any trouble enjoying the pool, lovely open living space, and safe, quiet neighborhood.

It definitely feels as though we are well on our way to a more peaceful, happy, and established chapter of our lives, which is a really good feeling. We are so grateful to everyone who has helped us along the way and can't wait to throw a house warming party once we get a little more settled and organized. Now that I have a few extra hours in my days, hopefully I will remember to stop and write a little more often. I know these are times I'm going to want to remember.

Cheers,
L