Thursday, November 17, 2011

Growing, Learning, Living...



We attended the wedding of one of Chris' co-workers this past week, and on the way Parker asked, "Do you think Michael Jackson will be there?". Our boy has such a funny, creative mind, and only continues to be the center of our universe every day. Parker is loving his new school (also my school!), and has grown in to quite the independent, tender, and always brilliant little man. I truly can't believe we just celebrated his fourth birthday, though at the same time I can hardly remember my life before him. We held a wonderful fisherman themed birthday party, and enjoyed the company of family and friends who came from near and far to help us celebrate. Even Andy and Anna Kennedy came down with their two little boys (Cole was only 10 weeks old!), along with Mimi and Papa, to spend the long weekend with us.

My new job is going well, and I feel so lucky to spend my days on the same campus where my little guy is learning and playing. High Meadows School is a indescribably magical place, and I feel very fortunate that this is what school will be to our son. The responsibility of my position is huge, and I struggle sometimes with the amount of pressure that is on my shoulders to make sure our enrollment goals are met, so, as one teacher pointed out to me "we can all have jobs next year." (No pressure). I feel confident in the changes I have made to some processes and in the product I am representing, so I remind myself not to be consumed by "meeting the numbers." Being a working mom and finding balance is no easy task, there is no question in that.

I've been thinking about posting on my blog for some time now, as a lot has been going on. Chris accepted a full-time job at the Atlanta Institute of Music as a curriculum coordinator, and is really thriving in that position. I flew to Oregon twice to stand in the weddings of two of my best friends, April and Leah, and cherished those special moments with friends and witnessing the love they have found in their grooms. We gave up on selling the old house, and have rented it to a very nice bunch of twenty-somethings who may have some interest in buying it down the road. The rent doesn't cover the mortgage, but it allows us to be where we are and get by, which is what needs to happen for now. Fingers crossed for economic recovery over years to come and the opportunity to sell without catastrophic loss. We have lost a pet, and added two (Leo our cat ran away, and we adopted a puppy, Pickles, and a lizard, Chucko.) We have also struggled with our pursuit of adding a second child to our family.

I feel the need to stay authentic in what I write in this blog, and have realized that sharing our experiences can only help others who might find themselves in similar shoes at some point. In October 2010 I lost a pregnancy after about seven weeks, and went through the same experience last month. I have gone through some extensive testing, which fortunately resulted in the conclusion that these were most likely just isolated incidents unrelated to a medical issue. That said, it is really a heartbreaking experience, and after having gone through it twice, I am left fearful that maybe it just isn't going to happen for us. I do believe that if we are meant to bring another little person into the world, he or she will come when the time is right. There is a heaviness in my heart over both of these losses, but I remain grateful for the extraordinary child we do have. I'm not sure there is anyone who even reads this blog anymore, but I wanted to share our story because I know that miscarriage can be a very isolating thing to go through, and I have been comforted by others who have helped me realize that I am not alone, and that happy endings do happen more often than not.

Next week, my parents are flying in from Oregon, and for the first time in nearly 10 years together, the Nicholsons and Richerts will celebrate Thanksgiving together at Chris' parents home in North Carolina. I am very much looking forward to being surrounded by family, eating yummy holiday food, watching Parker play with the other kids in the family. My parents will then be traveling to Tennessee to support Peter during his mother's memorial service. Sadly, Pinky passed away several weeks ago after struggling with many health problems for years. I know that Peter is comforted that she is now freed from her pain, and we join him in envisioning her dancing through the heavens.

This has been a long, bitter-sweet post, but I am glad to have updated the history of the many transformations of our life. Through each, I learn something new, and realize the value of the many blessings we have been provided.